Readers,
The book The Female Persuasion by Meg Wolitzer is currently making waves all over bestseller lists and "must read this summer" articles (sadly it is almost winter in Melbourne, but we'll leave that for another time). The premise is this: college student, Greer, meets aging feminist-icon Faith Frank as a freshman and is instantly taken with her message. Years later Greer begins working with Faith, embarking on a years-long relationship in which Greer, Faith and the key people in their lives, must choose their own paths - sometimes diverging from each other in painful and unexpected ways. This is a book that explores what it means to be given permission to be bold, and what it means to leave the need for that permission behind.
I was raised to be a feminist by Mother - who was told that women couldn't become veterinarians' when she was a girl (don't worry she showed that guy) - and my grandmothers, both of whom are powerful, smart, funny women. They showed me what being a powerful person looked like, but they also taught me never to compromise being a woman. I wear skirts every day, I get my nails done. Doesn't mean I can't be #ruthless.
Readers, I was also taught to be a feminist by my Dad, a man whose favorite sentiments include “Maybe you should stop complaining if you’re not going to do anything about it”, “If you’re going to be a successful person who people take seriously, you can’t say [insert incorrect grammatical formation]”, “Now that you’re an adult you need to start [doing your taxes/managing your own money/taking responsibility for your abysmal grammar]” and “You should absolutely abandon your practical, career-building major and study religion if that’s what you want to do” (okay – he only said the last one once, but it was pretty remarkable). My point is – my father never assumed I would be anything other than smart, independent, confident and bold. And his assumption that I would be that way, made me that way.
The characters in The Female Persuasion are, for the most part, not as lucky as I am. This is a book populated by lackluster, childlike parents whose children outgrow them. Instead, Greer gets her permission to be bold form her friend (Zee), her boyfriend (Cory) and her idol (Faith) who collectively give her the power to be brave. Greer cherishes this gift, even as it enables her to grow above and beyond those who bestowed it.
In the end, my biggest takeaway from The Female Persuasion was not that being a feminist is required, but that being a feminist is a privilege. To become a feminist - or any sort of person who fights for justice - takes someone telling you that you have the right to stand up for yourself and others, that you have the right to demand goodness and equality from other people. This privilege, this special kind of self-belief, should be ubiquitous, but it's not, and that is what The Female Persuasion is all about.
Readers, the sexism I encounter in my work and life is, for the most part, insidious, not overt. It's leaving someone out of a conversation. It's making a joke that's offensive but not offensive enough to make a fuss about. Combating this kind of sexism does not demand less than the overt kind - if anything, I think it asks more from us. It asks us to be even more assured that what we see as wrong is wrong. It asks us to be principled when it might be easier to let things go - to fight for the belief in something better, even if the situation you're in isn't that bad.
You can probably tell I found The Female Persuasion inspiring. But it's also a great story - a page turner whose characters I cared deeply about. This is a testament to Wolitzer's writing. Here she is turning the tables on us, challenging us to see beyond our own narrow definitions: "'Greer,' said Laurel, 'what are we supposed to do, shake our heads and say that he's accomplished nothing?...here's this person who gave up his plans when his family fell apart. He moves back in with his mother and takes care of her. Oh, and he cleans his own house, and the ones she used to clean. I don't know. But I feel like Cory is kind of a big feminist, right?'"